Lest all of you think it is all fun and games, peaches and cream for your correspondent, I shall present my list of:

FIVE THINGS I HATE ABOUT OXFORD*

1. The sun doesn't live here. It makes cameo appearances to tease you with the promise of a bright sunny day, then disappears behind a gloomy cloud cover for the rest of the day. Most of the time, this place is cloudy and gloomy.

2. Seperate hot and cold taps. Why?? Even the Hertford Grad Centre, built in this millenium, has seperate hot and cold taps in the rooms. Why do they persist in this archaic practice, forcing one to cup your hands and move them back and forth if you want water anywhere between ice cold and boiling hot?

3. Everyone smokes and drinks. I've seen mothers walking down the street with their baby in their arms and a fag hanging from their lips. I walk down Cornmarket Street and am constantly ducking to avoid clouds of cigarette smokes billowing my way. That aside, it is simply impossible to socialise if you don't drink and stay up late. The British are so uptight and stuffy until they have a pint or two.

4. Everything closes early. 5.30pm, and that's it. Some stores stay open later- notably Borders, an American bookstore, but otherwise if you need anything at 6pm, you're out of luck. It's worse on Sundays, when most stores are legally restricted in the hours they can open- if they open at all.

5. Cobblestones. It is impossible to walk quickly on cobblestones without thinking you are going to turn an ankle on your next step. This is particularly bad in Radcliffe Square, which is almost entirely cobblestones.

*so far. Judgements based on one week.