Recently, two good friends of mine (S, a guy, and M, a girl, names concealed to protect the guilty) went to Turkey as part of a trip around Europe. While they were wandering around a bazaar, a merchant came up and tried to sell them some carpets.

Merchant: So, where are you from?
S: Oh, she's from England and I'm from Canada.
Merchant (puzzled): How is this so?? You are from such different places?
S (thinks fast): Oh, she's my English mistress. My wife is back home in Canada, and I keep a mistress in England when I come to Europe.
Merchant: But the English people, they are bad in bed!
S: No, no. English men are bad in bed. That's why the English women, they are up for a good time, you know what I mean *wink* *knudge*
Merchant: Ahaha!! Of course! [The men laugh knowingly at each other] So you buy a carpet from me, yes?
S: No, I can't!
Merchant: Why not?
S: If I buy a carpet from you, I can't take it back because then my wife would know I've been here with my mistress!
Merchant: Ohhhhh... I understand. [They laugh]

M: Okay, we need to go. NOW.

The funny thing is, ten minutes later they were heading back out through the bazaar and pass the carpet shop again, and the merchant spots them, winks and flashed two thumbs up at S....