The Sun No Longer Rises

Does the British Empire still exist? In a word, no.

In a strictly legalistic and narrow sense, of course, it technically does, because Britain retains control over a number of territories, such as Anguilla, Montserrat, Ascension, the Caymen Islands and the Virgin Islands.

However, ask yourself- would you call this an empire? There is no sense of command or power that is associated with the notion of empire. If it were so, then where do we draw the line? Every country which owns a small rock that is removed from its immediate vicinity or historical border would have to be considered an 'empire'. I think it is an important point that any typical person in the street would in no way be conscious that Britain is currently an empire and that it is considered a relic of the past.

With regard to the Queen's title: she is Head of State of some 17 countries around the world, as well as Head of the Commonwealth. However, when she visits Canada, for example, she does not visit as Queen of Britain; she is Queen of Canada. She is Queen of each territory, not of Britain alone. Furthermore, in none of those countries does she hold absolute power. As in Britain, she cannot act elsewhere without the advice of the elected government. She does not even appoint her Governor-Generals. Similarly, as Colonel-in-Chief of overseas armies, she has no power.

With regard to the Commonwealth, it is even more technical. The title of Head of the Commonwealth is vested in her person, not in her Crown- i.e., it is not inheritable by Charles, or whoever next is monarch of Britain. When she dies or abdicates, the Commonwealth will get together and decide who will be Head next. It may be they decide to rotate it among the Commonwealth countries; it may be they decide to give it Charles. It is a very common British assumption to fuse the Crown with the Monarch, but in other Commonwealth countries they do not make the same assumption.

Finally, the honours system still refers to Empire(OBE, MBE, etc.). However, they are titles and in name only. Changing their names would create unnecessary difficulties. Other titles are no longer awarded- for example, the ones referring to India ceased in 1947 when India became independent. Australia, Canada and New Zealand have the right to their own awards, many of which have the same names and are held in the same status as the British awards. They are awarded, of course, by the Queen of Australia, Canada and New Zealand respectively, not by the Queen of Britain.

EDIT: To further clarify my position on what I mean by the British Empire still exists in a limited, technical sense- Britain still has overseas territories, or dependencies, which it acquired via conquest or colonisation, in which Britain still has responsibility for external relations, whose citizens are 'British Overseas citizens' but all have the right to British citizenship, and where the Queen remains sovereign. This of course is an extremely limited definition but it seems reasonable to me that it is accurate in the light of what I consider to previously have been the British Empire.

Therein lies the crux. The main issue in arguing such a question is how you define 'the British Empire'. It is not even a matter of agreement that there was one- many people argue that there were two, or even three, which overlapped. Some argue whether it existed at all. So before one argues about the existence of the British Empire, ask yourself- what do I mean by British Empire?

Mean Girls

"It's funny because it's true!" was the first review I heard about Mean Girls. "Yeah, it really is like that," said another friend. "I was blown away by how utterly accurate it was," said a third, "Things like that really did happen at my High School."

Jolly Roger Ebert wrote, "Mean Girls dissects high school society with a lot of observant detail, which seems surprisingly well-informed. The screenplay by Saturday Night Live's Tina Fey is both a comic and a sociological achievement." The highly respected reviewers of FilmThreat praise the movie for its intelligence. James Berardinelli went so far as to remark that the movie wasn't mean enough.

In the face of all this anecdotal and historiographical evidence, I decided to see this sociological phenomenon myself. 100 minutes later, I walked out feeling sick to my stomach. This is supposed to be a highly accurate portrayal of female teenage behaviour? Those girls were vicious, licentious and conniving. Not having any real knowledge about the cattiness of teenage girls, I am struck with disbelief at what I saw onscreen. The depths of human nature and its capacity for destruction were fully on display.

I can't confess to understand any of it. I just hope it isn't as true as it appears.

Someone please tell me- are girls like that all over, or is it just American girls? I know I have readers on several different continents, so once you've seen the movie, please let me know your opinion or the opinion of the girls around you (Ming, you can ask your entourage of girls that follow you around- the movie opens in Singapore next week).

EDIT: This interesting article reviewing books about teen culture in schools contrasts different approaches to the issue without shedding much new light on the subject. The two authors who put forward interesting theses are undone by poor writing, while the competently written book seems to be a simple examination of a largely homogenous, upper class school.

True Feeling

Continuing on a literary bent, I find that what distinguishes great writers in their ability to put into words what we can only feel. Of course, that is not to say that writing is superior to feeling. As I said to a very dear friend a few days ago, the truest means of communication- the only time we can have any amount of certainty that God is speaking to us- is our feelings. However, it is difficult to able to communicate those feelings to another person, and that is where speech and writing come in.

At the end of Moonraker, for instance, James Bond is waiting for Gala Brand at a cafe some time after they foil Hugo Drax's plot. He intends to leave with her. She calls his name and he looks up. There she is: heart wrenchingly beautiful. But the way she is standing, the way she is looking at him, the sadness in her eyes, and he realises: she is not for him, an instinct confirmed a moment later when she begins to speak. She tells him he is wonderful, special, and their time together will always be treasured, but she cannot be with him. And she walks out of his life.

That sense of loss felt by Bond at that exact moment is unspeakable tortuous, worse than anything he endured at the hands of Drax. It's a feeling I know.

For those of you who appreciate the greatness of Ian Fleming and his literary creation, as distinct from his cinematic creation, then I advise you to hurry out to your nearest bookstore as Penguin UK will be publishing ten of the Ian Fleming titles under their Modern Classics imprint this month.

This imprint only publishes seminal modern works and I personally am delighted that Ian Fleming is joining this prestigious list, in the company of authors such as Evelyn Waugh and George Orwell.

The ten titles are Casino Royale, Live and Let Die, Moonraker, Diamonds are Forever, From Russia with Love, Dr No, Goldfinger, Thunderball, On Her Majesty's Secret Service and You Only Live Twice.

The Future is in our hands

I've tried my best to try and explain what I went through last weekend in Chicago, but I can't. It was surreal. So I will try and explain it in the following way:

Once Zhuang Zhou dreamt he was a butterfly, a butterfly flitting and fluttering around, happy with himself and doing as he pleased. He didn't know he was Zhuang Zhou. Suddenly he woke up and there had was, solid and unmistakable Zhuang Zhou. But he didn't know if he was Zhuang Zhou who had dreamt he was a butterfly, or a butterfly dreaming he was Zhuang Zhou. Between Zhuang Zhou and a butterfly there must be some distinction! This is called the Transformation of Things.

For the past three and a half days I had a dream of a better world. I dreamt that I was part of a world where people dared to believe in a better future, were driven to achieve it, and were idealistic and optimistic enough to believe it possible. I dreamt of this world and I loved it and it inspired me.

Today I don't know if I am awake. The dream seems so far away, so different from the reality that I inhabit. And yet if I truly desire a better world, all I should need to do is to turn my heart and will toward it and there it will be. As Confucius said, "Is Virtue indeed so far away? If one truly desired it, it would be as easy to obtain as turning over one's hand." For there are hundreds of incredible young people like me working towards this future, and I know that if we all truly desire it, then it will come to pass.

This is what is known as the transformation of the future.

The Best Two Years Of My Life

Full text of remarks made by myself at the Oxford University Swimming Club annual banquet, 5 June 2004:

Distinguished Guests, Old Members, Teammates and Friends-

Before I begin I just want to echo what Ineka said. Like her I had resolved to retire before I came here, but my mother- to whom I am eternally grateful- talked me out of it, and these past two years have ended up been the most of fun of my swimming career. When you consider I've been swimming for twenty years now, that's quite something.

Having two degrees, one from Harvard and one from Oxford, I am often asked to compare the systems of education at the two institutions. In response I usually say that it is hard to compare as they have different objectives. The Oxford system is much more personal, and teaches you a specific subject much better. The depth of education is unsurpassed. However, Harvard emphasises different approaches to knowledge and different fields- in other words, their strength is in breadth of education. I usually some up by saying that Oxford teaches you more about one thing, but Harvard teaches you less, but about everything; Or that Oxford prepares you better for a specific subject, but Harvard prepares you better for life in general.

However, when it comes to sports, few people ask me to make the comparison. It is taken for granted that the American system is superior. The well funded programmes, beautiful facilities and generous alumni are complemented by a dedicated administrative and coaching staff, who take care of everything. All the students have to do is turn up and give 100%. When we compare it to we have endured here- a lack of pool, staff, funding or support- you can't help but assume that the American system is better on the basis of this simple comparison.

And yet, I do believe that there is one critical difference that the American system lacks. Responsibility. The fiercely amateur ethos of the Oxbridge sports clubs has a great advantage. The students enjoy far greater (almost total) responsiblity for both the day to day management of the Club, and its long term-future. The Club is the students, and lives and dies by their commitment. The future of institutions that have lasted over a century and are part of the very fabric of this British nation are in the hands of callow 18-20 year olds.

But of course, when I say callow, that is what we all were before we came here. The Club transformed us all. Responsibility is the hammer which moulded us against the anvil of the Club, and forged from the raw material of young men and women the future leaders of humanity. I only have to look around this room and admire all the talent here for proof. This is the great gift of our Sports Clubs. When people ask me to compare Harvard I say, Harvard made me a better swimmer, but Oxford- Oxford has made me a better man. I urge all of you, my teammates, to remember this. The more you give to this club, the more it will give back to you. This will be the most important and rewarding experience of your life.

Thank you.

The End of the Final Examinations

My Eleven Favourite Memories From The Past Two Weeks:

1. Flipping over my exam and realising that I had lucked out: I studied only three topics, and all were on the paper. This happened more often than it should have, actually. Once again, my lucky streak continues. I honestly didn't do enough work on any of my papers... if I escape with anything more than a third, I'll be lucky.

Speaking of which...

2. Me: "I'm going to get a third [class degree]."
Rich: "You're not going to get a third! . . . I'm going to get a 2-2 (Lower Second class degree)."
Me: "You're not going to get a 2-2! . . . I'm going to get a third."
(Repeat until)
Mindy: "Will you two stop blowing up each other's asses?!?!"

3. A Very Drunk Rich (to Steph): I just want to tell you I have the nicest, kindest, most beautiful, sexiest, most wonderful girlfriend in the world."
Steph: "Oh, R-"
Rich: "BUUUURRRRPPPP."
Steph: "I think you spoilt the moment."

4. Drunk Sarah: "I love you, PJ."
Drunk Me: "I love you too, Sarah."
Drunk Sarah: "You're one of my BEST friends."
Drunk Me: "You're one of mine!"
Both: "Let's keep in touch after graduation!"

5. Mum (on phone): "Let me get this straight. You have five exams this week, but you also took part in a Dancesport competition, watched "Troy", won a LaserQuest competition, and are now in Portsmouth doing open water training?"
Me: "Er, yes."

6. Winning the aforementioned LaserQuest competition in the face of still competition, and receiving the Mairin Hennebry Challenge Trophy.

7. Meeting and dining with Peter Moore, world famous best-selling travel author.

8. The Cuban cigar I smoked yesterday night. I never understood why Cuban cigars were so highly valued until a friend gave me a few puffs of his. I bought one specially to smoke after my exams, and it was worth it.

9. Waking up this morning, opening my window, looking out on Broad Street, and thinking, "Wow, I have an Oxford degree!"

10. Walking out of the Examination Schools with Rich, and being mobbed by my friends, who showered us with confetti, balloons, and alcohol. I was so tired and happy and felt so much love I almost started weeping tears of happiness. Almost!

11. Rich stopping and standing in the middle of Catte Street, holding his arms open for Steph to run up and hug him. Steph ran up and jumped into his arms and, Rich being very drunk, promptly lost his balance and they fell over in a big tumble with a loud smack!

Bonus memory:

12. Beautiful girl: "Here, let me give you my phone number."
Me: "Great, I'll call you."
(and I did).